


Consider yourself first

by Costumebleh



Series: All the love a person can hold [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Heavensward, M/M, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Other, Spoilers, a realm reborn, tons of kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 00:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20665964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Costumebleh/pseuds/Costumebleh
Summary: 5 times Thancred kissed Ith and one time Ith returned the favor





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A kind of 5 + 1 thing with kisses between the WoL Ith and Thancred
> 
> Idk I've fallen into the FFXIV hole and I sure as hell am not getting out anytime soon.

Thancred is… Well he is a great many things and Ith cannot make himself think too hard about the charming rogue for more than a moment before he feels red to his ears. 

After the whole spiel with sort-of accidentally saving the Sultana from a voidsent, to then consecutively being introduced to some of the greater figures in the Ul’dahn social circles, it's kind of a lot. But Ith finds that he can manage it a little easier with how Thancred zaps back and forth to his side despite his own busy work as a scion. 

Ith knows that Thancred is also a figure greatly known in the circles of women and players, so of course Ith does his best to keep the soft fluttering feelings from blooming. 

However, this is waylaid after his encounter and consecutive battle with Ifrit. 

Kneeling on the ground after dealing with the devastating force that was the primal, Ith can scarcely keep his breath in his lungs, as if the fire still burnt harshly within his very being. 

“Ith!” He can barely hear it, the final roar of denial from Ifrit still ringing in his ears, but there is unmistakably someone calling his name. 

Eyes hazy and dull, he turns to see Thancred about to kneel down by his side. 

“Ith are you alright?” Thancred says, and his hand on Ith’s cheek is so cool that Ith can’t help himself when he leans into the touch. 

He thinks he can hear a laugh from his friend, but Ith can’t discern it in his daze. 

Another hand grazes Ith’s cheek shortly, and Ith knows he’s now purring from the unexpected comfort. “I am so glad to find you hale and sane, I cannot put it into words.” 

Ith pries his eyes back open - when had they closed? - and smiles slightly, meeting Thancreds eyes as he does so. “I thought you’d been called away?” 

And then Ith hears an intake of breath and when his eyes stubbornly slide closed once more, something soft touches his lips, just for a moment that could have easily be something Ith had imagined if not for the way that Thancred brushes a hand through his hair. 

“I’ll carry you back.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Ith is about to be on the verge of tears. 

First ultima, the ceaseless, merciless, destruction it wrought. Ith knows something bad happened down one side of his torso, where there first was a searing pain and now a horrible deadness to the skin whenever he lifts his blade. 

And in front of him, his enemy stands, wearing the face of a friend. In his desperation to fill Louisxous’ position, Thancred had let the Ascian get the chance to possess him. 

And now… 

* * *

The battle is hard fought, with the exhaustion from all his previous battles up to this point starting to weigh him down. Ith falters at one point and takes a strike that leaves his shield-arm dead and useless and he’s just about to think that Lahabrea will be the one victorious, when Hydaelyn lends Ith a final show of her blessing, the blade of light, casting Lahabrea from Thancred’s form. 

Running from the quickly igniting facility, clutching Thancred to his side with his numb arm, Ith wishes dearly that the many weeks - months of possession hasn’t killed his friend. 

His fears are dismissed when Ith feels a graze of fingers against his chin, almost making him jerk away. Having to focus on steering the magitek, he can’t look down at Thancred that is half laying across his lap with the limited space in the seat. 

“I never really noticed your beard, isn’t that funny?” Ith hears, and it almost makes him laugh in its absurdity. Thancred would of course wake up to say something this unexpected and silly in a situation like this. 

“I suppose you wouldn’t” Ith says, stealing a glance down and seeing Thancred smile up at his is almost too much. His voice is clogged with unknown feelings as he corrects his attention back forward. “It’s been a while since I shaved and you haven’t been around much.” 

“Too bad.” Thancred says and then falls silent, the touch moving down Ith’s throat to seemingly follow the arm that is uselessly trying to clasp around Thancred despite the deadness in it. 

“You’re in pretty rough shape.” Thancred remarks and Ith huffs at the slight surprise in his tone. He then hisses, seemingly having seen the state of Ith's side. "Your arm… how bad is it?" 

Ith would have shrugged if he could, but instead just lightly shakes his head. Flexing his fingers, he can barely sense the motion and the touch, but it is only just there. 

"I will be fine." Ith says, lacking conviction but ignoring the worried little voice in the back of his head. 

Thancred hums, and Ith can only just catch it from under the noise of the magitek’s heavy steps and screeching from the abused gears as well as the explosions behind them. 

And then, despite the deadness in his arm, Ith feels a soft touch to his fingertips. And with the added warmth of Thancred’s fingers intertwining with his afterwards, Ith knows what just happened. But with the exit in sight all he can do is keep his attention ahead and swallow down the warmth that lies within his throat. 


	3. Chapter 3

Ith is not sure what to think about this. 

Thancred stands before him, all smooth and grinning like usual. But then again it is likely  _ a _ Thancred and not  _ the _ Thancred he knows. 

And since Ith have now run into five different versions of the rest of his friends, he’s rather amused by having to guess if this is the right one or not. 

“Why Ith, fancy seeing you here.” The Thancred in front of him says, all grins and cheek that Ith honestly isn’t sure to take what he’s saying at face value. Ith knows he can just use the powder resting in the palm of his hand to reveal whether it is the real one. But this is the most fun he’s had in ages. The Sylphs might just be trying to delay them - and it’s working - but Ith hasn’t laughed this much since the whole primal mess started. 

“Hi Thancred,” Ith says, keeping the hand with the powder hidden behind his back. “Did you see any of the others?” 

Ith knows where Yda and Minfillia are, but not sure if Thancred does. This might play it out to reveal if it’s the right one or not. 

“I have seen a great many of them.” Thancred says, stepping closer. “But I found all of them to be copies, can you imagine how surprising it can be when Minfillia starts swearing out of the blue?” 

“I can’t.” Ith answers, smiling now too. “I think the experience would scar me too much.” 

The laugh is the same, whole and happy, and Ith can’t help his tail curling around his leg in satisfaction. Loosening the grip on the pouch of powder, he’s just about to think this one might be the real one. 

And then suddenly this Thancred is a bit closer than Ith had thought, smiling still, but in a way that seemed more predatory than before. Leaning in, Ith notices small pointed teeth and maybe a touch of insanity to the eyes. 

His hand is suddenly locked in place, the Thancred’s arm having snuck around and pinned it in place, also forcing Ith up against an outcropping. 

“I am sure I can scar you in another way.” Says the fake Thancred, fangs now on full display and closing in on Ith. 

And then there’s a shower of powder and a dismayed Sylph - much smaller and no longer able to keep Ith still - now floats before Ith. 

“I’m glad I found the others. This stuff is efficient.” Says a familiar - in the right way - voice. 

Leaping down before Ith, is the real Thancred, dagger out and waving the weapon slightly at the creature. “You go on now, I think you’ve caused quite enough mischief here.” 

The Sylph just huffs and flies off, leaving Ith and Thancred standing there, with no other creatures of the forest to trick them, Ith relaxes a little. 

Damn, that had been a bit too close. Less scared, Ith knows that they didn’t actually want to hurt them, so he’s more embarrassed that he’d been tricked so easily. 

Scratching at his cheek, Ith looks sheepishly at Thancred’s back. 

“Can’t say they didn’t try something similar with me.” Says Thancred, though Ith cannot see his face so he doesn’t know if it is a joke or genuinely something he’d also experienced. 

Ith keeps his quiet, fiddling with the pouch behind his back. The silence stretches on for a moment, before Thancred finally turns and looks at Ith. 

“Why, don’t tell me you were that easily fooled.” Thancred teases, and now Ith does see a smile on his lip, so much more familiar that Ith cannot believe he was fooled by the fake. 

Not knowing what to do, Ith diverts his eyes from those brown ones that he just knows are shining with glee at the current situation. 

However, before Ith knows it, Thancred has moved  _ a lot _ closer, mimicking the situation that the fake had set up before. 

“Now come on,” Thancred says, leaning closer, “Was it because you were hoping for something like this?” 

And then he’s suddenly too close, and Ith can’t help but be startled back just before Thancred kisses him. But the bard is ever expectant of what’s to happen and has wrapped an arm around Ith’s hips to pull him closer. The kiss is fleeting and sweet, and Ith can barely stop himself from chasing it once Thancred pulls away. 

Burning hot are the words that lie in his throat, like the first time it happened on the fields of where the primal of fire had perished. Fearing that they would scald his tongue, Ith swallows them down as he stares at Thancred. 

Thancred doesn’t seem fazed at Ith’s muteness, smiling still as he steps away. “Follow me, I know where the rest of them are.” 


	4. Chapter 4

The Ascian is dead, but at a cost that Ith wishes he would never have to pay. A friend, sacrificed to sate the hunger of the white aetheryte. 

Too many things are slipping through his fingers and he can’t tell what is right and what is wrong anymore. The mockery of Midgardsormr rings in his ears, a life for a life. Except he wouldn’t have to lose Moenbryda if he still had the blessing. 

Ith sits in the common room, head in his hands and only source of light being the lone lamp before him. 

Just this morning he had found the corpse of the young man, Wildred. Letting yet another issue rear its head and Ith can’t handle the information that is suddenly surfacing from waters he had thought were clean. 

Half or more of the crystal braves are corrupt, none of the grand companies are willing to move to aid the scions, there is none he can trust. 

Except…

* * *

Ith knows he’s been there a while, felt the eyes on him and heard it when a pitcher of wine was fetched from behind the bar. But talking without wanting to scream felt like too much right now. Actually, it has felt a lot like that recently, like he can’t speak. He can’t disappoint, he can’t fail them. 

He can’t. He also can’t remember the last time he spoke without feeling like choking. 

After a while of Ith sitting there in the dead silence, the other person in the room joins him by the table. He catches the drag of the chair against the floor and feels the puff of air as the space next to Ith is occupied. 

“Come now, have a drink.” It is that request that finally makes Ith raise his head from his hands, glossy eyes looking over and meeting Thancred’s. 

Dear Thancred, who has turned anyone away from the door as Ith was stewing in his own misery. Who has waited until now to interrupt the circles spinning with a gentle smile and a cup of wine. 

“I’d like that.” Ith says, voice hoarse, despite none of the screams having escaped his throat, it feels dry like sandpaper and he is not sure when he last ate. 

In the dim lights of the room, Thancred is only illuminated by the single lamp on the table, casting him in an almost ominous light as Ith stares at him. 

Ith feels small and cold in the darkness around them, but he grasps the handle of the pitcher and takes a deep drink. The liquid almost burns down his throat, and it takes a couple moments to prevent himself from coughing. 

Voice cracking, Ith flaps his hand at whatever he just drank. “What is this?” 

Thancred just smiles again, pulling it back over to take a long swig of his own. “Something I’ve had hidden away, for special occasions.” 

“I doubt just sitting in the dark with me would count as a special occasion.” Ith remarks, but still takes another drink when Thancred hands it back. Now that the first mouthful had burned his throat, the alcohol goes down more smoothly the second time. 

“I will disagree,” Thancred says, resting his cheek on his knuckles, leaning against the surface of the table as he stares at Ith. “I think we both need it and that makes it special enough.” 

Ith just shrugs at that, pushing it back over to Thancred. He’s already starting to feel himself warm up from the inside, the alcohol burning in his veins and he fears that with a third drink, he will be needing some help getting back to his house. 

He still goes for it though. Ignoring a little worried voice that sounds somewhat familiar to Charlotte in the back of his head. There’s also a pleasant numbness that starts to fill his head, muddling his thoughts and that is just what he needs right now. 

Knowing that he’s starting to slouch a little in his seat, Ith leans forward to rest his head on his arms, still turned towards Thancred as he watches the other man drink. 

“Thancred?” 

“Yes?” 

After a few moments of silence, Ith finally speaks up; “I don’t think I’ll be living for much longer.” 

Ith sees the startle go through Thancred’s body, sees the fire light in his eyes, but he also sees that Thancred is aware of this, knows that anybody else would have started to babble about ‘maybe’s’ and ‘likely’s’ and he won’t, because he’s one of the few that’s seen Ith on the brink of death, as not the great invulnerable  _ Hero _ , but someone who has had his brush with death more times than can be counted. 

Who saw Ith,  _ truly _ saw Ith, in the aftermath of the Ultima weapon and all the way back to his very first encounter with the primals. 

And knows that Ith’s chances of living the next great encounter, with the organisation being filled with poison and barbs and not knowing who will stand by his side, will be smaller than ever before. 

Like the young crystal brave who had sought to bring the corruption into the light, only to be killed by those who were likely his very own comrades. The only thing separating Ith and this outcome is a set of very unknown valuables. 

Ith didn’t realize that his eyes had been watering, but suddenly feels a tear run down one side of his face and his vision blurs. “I can’t run from this.” 

“No.” Thancred says, both confirmation and denial, and Ith cannot see his face clearly anymore. 

“I am the biggest hurdle, for whatever their plans are.” 

“...” 

Ith reaches out, palm upwards and open on the table, and it is not seconds before he feels Thancred’s hand grasp his. 

Words are stuck in his throat, not the ones that remind him of molten ground and flames bursting behind his heart, but ones that feel like ice, like the cold waters embracing a corpse. Ones that make him realize that he has too many things he will be leaving unfinished. 

“I have a sister, you know.” Ith instead says, voice quiet. As he closes his eyes, he can feel Thancred squeeze his hand. 

“She’s in Gridania somewhere. She had to leave so she could train her powers. But I never got the chance to say goodbye to her.” 

Ith’s mouth feels numb, from the alcohol or the words, he can’t say. “I will never get the chance to now.” 

“Ith-” 

He can’t handle the apology that is undoubtedly going to be said, so Ith opens his eyes with a weak smile. “I guess it would be too much to ask for you to find her when I’m gone?” 

There’s a silence where the grip on his hand feels like steel, and then; “I will Ith, but you must promise me something first.” 

“Yes?” 

“Please... fight for yourself, just this once.” 

And then there’s a pull on his hand, subtle, but inquiring, asking for Ith to come closer. He obliges, straightening up and then finding that Thancred is suddenly right beside him. Leaning down, Thancred ever so gently runs a hand through Ith’s hair making Ith lean into the touch. 

The kiss is longing, and a desperate wish all together. It replaces the harsh ice of fear in Ith’s throat with molten heat, so many words, so many have built up, too many to voice in whatever little time they have left together. 

So Ith, in the end, voices none at all. 


	5. Chapter 5

They’re running, running for their lives and their futures. Running from lies and schemes and hurtful words and however many enemies have been hidden in their ranks. 

First leaving Yda and Papalymo behind, Thancred and Y’shtola now stand ready to prevent further assailants from reaching Minfillia and Ith. 

Seeing them both ready themselves, Ith is frozen. 

He knows that he should be the one to keep Minfillia safe, but seeing Thancred with his back turned and daggers at the ready. Knowing that he has to continue on without him, it tears something out of Ith’s chest, making it shatter against the rough stone beneath his feet. 

Clenching his fists at his side, he hears Minfillia argue with Y’shtola. He can’t do anything to stop this, keeping his eyes locked firmly on the ground. 

And then Thancred steps up before him, daggers still in hand and Ith knows he’s wearing the usual and charming smile as always. 

“Will you let me see your smile before you go?” 

Ith’s teeth sink into his lip, feeling himself shudder at the thought of this being the last time -  _ fate wouldn’t be as kind as to let Ith be the first one to go, that is just how it works _ \- and he can barely keep his tears at bay. 

There’s the singing of a dagger going back into its sheath, and then his head is lifted up to meet Thancred’s lips. 

It’s short and Ith tastes blood on his tongue - his own. And he knows that later he will regret not doing anything right now, but his limbs feel dead and as he finally looks at Thancred he knows his face only shows regret. 

Thancred’s expression is one of affection, in this moment he is not the player nor the scion, but just the man that knows what he is supposed to do and am willing to do it. 

“Remember your promise.” Thancred says, hand moving up run a thumb over Ith’s cheek and catching a tear, “Just this once, this one day, you will only fight for yourself. No one else.” 

Knowing that his tears are now flowing freely, Ith reaches forward and pulls Thancred into a hug. He knows he can’t stay, and that he can’t make Thancred go. So just this moment, he will do his best to remember for the future and to hope that Thancred and Y’shtola will be fine. 

“I will.” Ith says, choking on the words. “But I will find you again. I swear.” 

“Very well.” Thancred says, and Ith feels lips touch his cheek as he nuzzles slightly closer. They are almost pressed together in this short moment, an embrace that neither wishes to break. “I will also do my utmost to find you once more.” 

“Good.” Ith says, sorrow clogging his throat and he can barely draw breath. “Thank you, for everything.” 

Ith then pushes slightly away, meeting Thancred’s eyes one last time, he musters a weak smile. 

“Ah,” Says Thancred, “There it is.” 

And then their time is up, with yells and steps approaching in the distance. Turning away from he pair, Ith and Minfillia starts running. 


	6. Chapter 6

It’s been ages. 

With too many things to even keep a count of in the midst of the war between man and dragon, Ith has barely had time to sit still, much less try and mount his own search. 

Though there have been times where the shattered pieces around his heart had stung and cut his insides until he could swear that blood should be running from numerous breaches on his skin; they never do, despite the pain he swears lies just beneath his skin. 

And then suddenly, Thancred is there. Clad in a much different outfit, having intervened in the battle between Ith and the warriors of darkness, making them retreat. 

All Ith can do is freeze for a long moment, not knowing what to do as he sees the changes that have happened to Thancred. 

Finally, his limbs move, and sheathing his chakrams to his side, Ith launches himself at Thancred, seemingly catching the rogue by surprise as they both tumble to the ground with the force of it. 

Ith doesn’t realize that he is crying before there’s a hand brushing away a stray tear. 

“My last sight and now seeing you again, I find that I seem to make you cry more than is well for my heart.” Thancred says. His one eye is covered with a piece of cloth wrapped around his head, and his hair is longer, but the smile in the remaining one as bright as the day in that dull tunnel beneath Ul’dahn. 

Ith rests his forehead on Thancred’s chest, arms wrapped around as best as he can, as they are both on the ground. “I hoped so badly it was you.”

“Ith…” 

“I'm just so glad it was true." Ith murmurs, ears flat against his skull with stress and tail curled up to his side. Wiping away the stubborn tears, he smiles at Thancred. "I really am."

And when Ith sits back up, halfway in Thancreds lap, he takes the chance to grasp at the front of the other’s shirt, effectively pulling him up to meet Ith’s lips. 

It’s sweet and with a touch of salt from the sweat they had built up in the battle against the warriors of darkness on their lip. But from the five times before, this time, Ith cannot deny the molten words in his throat. Can’t keep back the laugh that bubbles from his chest. 

“Please, Thancred…” Ith murmurs the moment he breaks away from the kiss, barely separating. “I care so much for you. Please stay with me?” 

The words are slight but heavy with emotion. Ith can feel the burn in his throat of finally releasing everything that has been pent up so far, from the first dance on the battlefield, to this final moment. And whilst the molten pain, the pent up feelings, have all finally been allowed to flow free - Ith also feels cold fears of rebuttal rise in its place. 

But they are quickly dismissed, for the moment the words are out, Ith feels strong rugged hands wrap around his neck to pull him into another heated and passionate kiss. With them barely allowing room for breath, Ith feels lightheaded at the touch. 

“Yes!” The moment Thancred finally allows them to pull apart, he is already speaking. Visible eye glossy with his own tears. “To the ends of the star. I will stay with you. For there is none other I wish to share my life with.” 

The words were a grand gesture in itself, but then Thancred grasps Ith’s hand - the one that still feels slightly numb, and kisses his fingertips. Like once so long ago. “From the time you faced a primal and stood strong, I have wished to be by your side.” 

“Thancred,” Ith knows he’s crying again, but this time they are tears of joy, ones that pearl in along with a soft laugh as Ith intertwines their fingers to kiss the back of Thancred’s hand. “Thank you, I will do my utmost to be deserving of those words.” 

“Oh but you already are.” Thancred says, leaning forward once more. 

The kiss is then soft and compassionate, a promise for tomorrow and a show of affection now. 

For it is all they ever would want. 

**Author's Note:**

> whispers into your ear: snaccred


End file.
